“AND if I should ever go away, well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today. And then if you can remember: Keep smiling, keep shining knowing you can always count on me, for sure. That’s what friends are for. For good times and bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more. That’s what friends are for.”
Well, if the words are very familiar to you, it’s because they were quoted from a Burt Bacharach song, which was made famous by Dionne Warwick (although Rod Steward also sang the same song as theme song of a movie).
Panagbenga 2009 blog
American author and speaker Steve Stephens listed five reasons why we need friends.
For one, friends provide perspective. “No matter how capable you are, there will be days you feel lost, when you need some clear direction, some fresh ideas, or just a different perspective,” he explains.
For another, friends provide company. “Good friends provide a distraction from the pressures of your day, comfort from the hurts of life, and escape from loneliness,” Stephens writes.
“Sometimes friends laugh with you and sometimes they cry with you, but most important, friends are always willing to be with you when you need them.”
The third reason: friends provide a place to vent. “Some days you can handle the difficulties that press you down; other days you just have to let it all out,” he points out.
“A friend is willing to listen when you just feel like complaining about the injustices and annoyances that fill this world.”
Friends also provide accountability. To be accountable, Stephens says, “is to consent to being watched and questioned. Allowing yourself to be transparent and vulnerable is a wonderful protection against temptation and naivete. You let them catch you when you fall and lift you back to the place where you know you should be.”
Lastly, friends provide encouragement. Stephens states, “Sometimes it’s easy to lose hope. The frustrations of the past haunt you, the stress of the present overwhelms you, and the prospect of the future discourages you. When you are overwhelmed, you need at least one cheerleader.” And that cheerleader is your friend.
“Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joy, and dividing our grief,” said Joseph Addison. Pam Brown adds, “In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion — the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers.”
Tim McGraw sums up the value of friends in these words: “If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them; I’d be at the bottom to catch them. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say. We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”
But some friendships never last forever. There are instances where friends become enemies. But there are also those that mend their differences and become friends again.
“When we develop friendships, we intend for them to last. But since two fallen human beings are involved, occasional hurt feelings and unmet expectations are likely. If one or both people simply ignore the offense, the relationship can be damaged,” explains Dr. Charles Stanley in his In Touch Daily Devotional.
But friendship can be restored and saved. “Repairing a troubled friendship requires humility to admit our faults, effort to fix the problem, and time,” he writes.
“But the reward is a renewed connection with a valued companion. The process of saving a friendship begins when you acknowledge that damage exists. This takes place the moment you say, I feel something isn’t right in our relationship. I’d like for us to find and fix the problem.”
Dr. Stanley said the two individuals must work together in order for them to save their friendship. For one, both should assess how the trouble started. Perhaps it resulted from a misunderstanding, an unresolved conflict, or one person being so busy.
(For comments, write me at henrytacio@gmail.com.)
